Parsley and Thyme

Archive for May 2008

Problems and Solutions

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I have experienced that most often, the solution to an apparently complex problem lies in acknowledging the existence of the problem itself. And then recognizing that it is not a problem after all.

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Written by Kanchana

May 30, 2008 at 4:06 am

Posted in Just Like That

The scent of a potato

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A German group has devised a “smell-phone” (er, cellphone) that can send smells along with your messages. Apparently, there is going to be a tiny chip within each phone that will have more than 100 scents which you can choose from. Research on this technology has been underway since 8 whole years and the geeks think they can release the technology by 2010.

That sets me off to do some mental imagery of my own. You know, gotta prepare meeself just in case this thing really sees light of day ? For starters, it is going to be so easy to get back at someone I despise. I might just mislead them by sending a message which reads, “You are an angel”. And when the prey presses the read button on the phone, he/she will be bombarded by the smell of dog turd. Ouch. There could be retribution in other areas of life as well. For example, it happens to be one of those days when I have had a fight with hubby and am not in the mood to reconcile – I might just send him a message which reads, “I am at the beach and I don’t miss you”, along with the scent of ocean breeze. Tch, tch evil woman.

Well, blow me down, I has got yet another idea! Wishing someone on a joyous event can be so much more genuine – I could just send them a lovely floral fragrance with my congratulatory message. Yes I can be pleasant too! Or I could cover up my absence at a boring family rendezvous by messaging the host with a whiff from my daily deodorant. They won’t miss me all that much then. And I can miss all those pesky questions alluding to why I don’t do something productive with my life.

Well, needless to say, during all situations of vengeance messaging I run into the huge risk of being reciprocated on similar or worse terms. But who cares – I atleast have the consolation of having got there first! And the possibilities are just limitless.

‘Tis indeed time to wake up and smell the roses.

Written by Kanchana

May 28, 2008 at 2:18 pm

Posted in Humor

Mother’s Day

with one comment

It is Mother’s Day. Instead of being the usual cynic that I am, and labeling all “xxx day”s as a fad created by media, I decide to be constructive this time around. Which leads me to ponder over my own role as a mother. And how it has changed me, for better (my point of view) or worse (hubby’s point of view).

Starting at the start, I call myself a “novice mother”. “Novice” – because whenever I think I have a faint idea of my little Chikoo’s brainpower, he comes up with something totally unexpected and completely bowls me over. “Mother” – because as of now, there is one little soul who looks up to me for all his needs, 24/7. And because I cannot fail to respond, again 24/7.

Let me now digress a bit. As a reader myself, I hate to read long, verbose paragraphs – especially if they are narcissistic. So let me try to make this really short as I attempt to list all the travails of motherhood. Here goes :

  • Join the “mothers community” in your neighbourhood seamlessly as you share your common woes on sleeplessness, bed-wetting, poor eating etc. Now wait a sec – it happens to be the same ladies who earlier would glare at you like you were a creature from outer space!
  • Lose the extra pounds without having to enroll at a boring gym. Even without realizing it. And look genuinely embarrassed when people compliment you on your slim avatar.
  • Talk endlessly about your child to reluctant listeners, without bothering to stop for a minute. Even if the listener is experiencing a heart-attack.
  • Develop excellent control over your loo visits.
  • Learn that you can really laugh hard. And that you can cry even harder.
  • Realize that there is perhaps nothing more beautiful in the world than to watch a baby sleep. They really misguide you when they say it’s the Mona Lisa.
  • Learn that each day is a roller-coaster ride. The moments of simply indescribable bliss as he giggles uncontrollably in the midst of a game. Or those of absolute frustration as he spits his food out for the nth time in the day. And makes a greater mess trying to clean it up for you. (atleast he thinks so)
  • Learn to take a million decisions in less than a minute as you try to make sense of his sudden, incessant bawling. Is it a stomach-ache ? Hunger ? Anger ? Teething ? And you thought that a super-computer was faster.
  • Eating out ? Are you kidding ?!
  • TV ? What’s that ?
  • Learn to control your urge to write out the couple of hundred other things that would make this list snake up to the length of the Eiffel Tower.

Hmmm. Happy Mother’s day to all mothers. Keep it going – there is no greater job in the world than to nurture your child into a wonderful human being!

Written by Kanchana

May 11, 2008 at 5:53 pm

Posted in Chikoo

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